| Heal your broken marriage by learning some very | | | | go. |
| basic problem-solving techniques. All marriages have | | | | - Listen AND verbalize. These are equally important. |
| problems at some point but most couples are not | | | | Couples have a tendency to do one or the other, but |
| prepared to handle them. In this article we are going to | | | | not both at the same time. Not only do you need to |
| focus on solutions, not problems. In order to heal a | | | | hear what your partners concerns are but the |
| broken marriage, couples need to identify the core | | | | opposite is true as well. |
| problems in a marriage and learn how to solve them. | | | | - When solving a problem, think of yourselves as |
| "Men and women are like two feet, we need each | | | | teammates, not opponents. You should be working |
| other to get ahead. But, that doesn't mean we always | | | | together to solve a problem for the benefit of BOTH |
| understand each other." | | | | of you. |
| When it comes to problem-solving, most people benefit | | | | - When you are trying to identify the problems in your |
| from having a list of things to focus on and keep in | | | | marriage, it's important to distinguish between the |
| mind as they are working. I'm going to give you a list of | | | | symptoms of a problem and the core problem itself. |
| suggestions and later you can create your own list of | | | | One of the biggest problems in relationships is that |
| the things that you think need to be repaired in your | | | | couples get the symptoms of the problem confused |
| marriage. Focus on how to fix what is NOT working in | | | | with the problem itself. Your goal is to work on the |
| your marriage and nurture what IS working for you. | | | | core problem and let the symptoms become a part of |
| Problem Solving Techniques: | | | | the past. |
| - When trying to solve the problems in your marriage, | | | | - Most importantly: start small. It's just not possible to |
| try not to jump into the fire of conflict. When emotions | | | | repair everything at once. You will have the most |
| flare up (and they will), don't be fooled by the intensity. | | | | success if you take it one step at a time. Start with |
| A lot of that anger is really hurt in disguise. | | | | something that will be the easiest to fix and go from |
| - Try to separate your emotions about the problem | | | | there. |
| from the steps you need to take to solve the problem | | | | Try to keep in mind that healing your marriage will be |
| itself - this is a hard thing to do and it will take some | | | | an ongoing process. Sometimes you are going to take |
| effort. | | | | two steps forward only to take one step back. You |
| - Many couples have unrealistic expectations about | | | | are going to experience both laughter and tears as |
| marriage and relationships. Be flexible, learn how to | | | | you go forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to |
| bend in your relationship. Try to recognize what is | | | | blame. Keep your eye on the prize and remember |
| important to solving a problem and let the other things | | | | how lucky you are to have each other. |