| Are there parts of yourself that you do not like? Do | | | | them? What if we tried to figure out the internal |
| you sometimes wish that you did not have an angry | | | | messages to see how they are trying to help? As |
| part or a shy part or some other part that gets in the | | | | parts of self are more understood by us, they take |
| way of you being who you want to be? Do you feel, | | | | less extreme roles in our lives and begin to serve as |
| at times, that you have been hijacked by your | | | | internal advisors rather than hijacking our emotions and |
| emotions or that you are reacting to things in extreme | | | | behavior. |
| ways that do not reflect who you really are? | | | | Take a look at the following ways that a so-called |
| Most of us have parts like that. We have parts that | | | | negative part may be trying to help. Though these |
| may be triggered by circumstances, by other people | | | | examples may not ring true for you, use the list as a |
| or by issues from the past. We have parts that silence | | | | springboard to examine your own parts of self, to ask |
| us though we say we want to be assertive. We have | | | | how they are trying to help and to become more open |
| parts that help us stay unnoticed though we feel lonely. | | | | to your own internal wisdom.o A part of self that |
| We have parts that push us so hard to work and be | | | | hates us to feel disappointed or rejected may tell us to |
| successful that we barely have time for fun. Or, parts | | | | wait until we are smarter, thinner, happier, or |
| that push so much toward fun that we have a hard | | | | something-er to start really living.o A part that thinks |
| time following through and being successful at work or | | | | we do not play enough may make us procrastinate.o |
| school. We have parts of self that worry too much | | | | A part that knows how bad failure feels wants us to |
| and get anxious, or parts that get angry or sad more | | | | avoid risks and big challenges.o A part that does not |
| often than we like. We have parts that cry too much, | | | | want us to look stupid keeps us from asking for help.o |
| eat or drink too much or sleep too much. | | | | A part that fears our feelings can be overwhelming |
| Many of us try numerous ways to get rid of these | | | | keeps us emotionally numb or confused.o A part that |
| negative parts of ourselves. We try ignoring them. We | | | | does not want us to be selfish pleases others and |
| try distracting ourselves with positive thoughts or | | | | puts our own needs on hold.o A part that keeps us |
| activities. We set personal goals and create steps to | | | | inside our comfort zone has witnessed first hand why |
| reach them. We get motivated and focused and | | | | it does not seem safe outside.o A part that prevents |
| decide that once and for all we are going to | | | | us from making waves wants to protect us from |
| overcome our negative traits. And somehow, the traits | | | | other people's reactions.o A part that silences us does |
| keep coming back. | | | | not want us to impose on others or seem like a bully.o |
| Do you wonder why, though we are smart and well | | | | A part that keeps us from trying something new just |
| intentioned, we cannot get rid of these negative parts | | | | does not want us to be hurt. |
| of self? It is because the parts are trying to help us | | | | When we realize how these parts of self are trying to |
| and they will not change until they are certain that we | | | | help, we become more accepting of them. We |
| are okay. They are not trying to make us anxious or | | | | become like a collaborative team with our parts of self |
| sad or fat. They are trying to protect us from harm or | | | | instead of either denying them or being overshadowed |
| diminish some hurt. Trying to remove them is like trying | | | | by them. So, the next time you find yourself being |
| to remove a SWAT team before the danger is past. | | | | critical of one of your parts, take the opportunity to |
| They will not go away. So, instead of silencing or | | | | explore it from a position of curiosity and compassion |
| banishing these parts, what if we began to understand | | | | and see what you begin to learn about yourself. |